Losing My Touch

potor · Joined: 05 Dec 2006 Posts: 49

Over the past two months, my son has not been doing his job at school. He is seven years old in the first grade. In the beginning of the year, he was doing fine. We went to the movies and pizza buffet for his great job and behavior. Now, he's not paying attention to the teacher, doing a sloppy job in his writing, not wanting to remember the material to do well on his test. My son just daydreams and play mind games with me when ever I try to figure out what the problem is. I keep hitting a brick wall. I go over his work every night, plus the exercises his teacher has suggested to me. I have a dry erase board, flash cards, crayons, note book paper, and blocks to help him in all subjects. I am a single black mother and will be a student again in January. I'm running out of time to help him be more independent. I have diabetes and suffering from depressions. I HAVE SO many other issues onmy mind. Also, I'm losing my touch as a drummer. The past few days at church have been a little difficult for me. I lost a little interest in the music and the minister of music has noticed. I REALLY need prayer and sound advice to help me with my situation. I'm yelling at my son and this is not helping the situation at all. I've been taking away his privileges until he earns his right to have them back; this is by making improvements on his schoolwork.
I'm wondering if he is suffering from depression because he doesn't have a positive male figure in his life. Maybe he might be bored with the work and needs a challenge. Maybe my son needs a after school activity: such as sports, music, art, or male mentor.

If you have any suggestions, please respond.

Thank you.

joung · Joined: 05 Dec 2006 Posts: 46

It sounds as though you are in contact with his teachers, yes? Do they have any suggestions on how to work with him? Do they have any ideas what may be behind the daydreaming and acting out?

Sometimes kids act this way when they are not being challenged enough, sometimes they are too challenged, and sometimes they are just 7.

chaekyu · Joined: 05 Dec 2006 Posts: 34

It sounds like you are doing a terrific job at trying to address the problem. Working with him at home is important.

Depression does rob us of our joys, I am sorry to hear about your music. What are you doing to treat your depression?

Do you have the Big Brothers, Big Sisters program where you live? Perhaps you could sign him up for a Big Brother match that could help fill the need for a male role model in his life.

I am impressed you are going back to school!

hahninsik · Joined: 05 Dec 2006 Posts: 38

Lenore, sounds like you are a very good mom. I agree with the rest of the responses, especially in working with his teachers.
I've gone through this type of thing with my son, now eleven. In around third grade he had major concentration problems and eventually teachers and docs thought he may have ADD but the meds didn't prove it, it was hard to tell if they helped at all. He seemed to get better on his own without meds. But, when there is a stressor or new transition, he has trouble but is able to get help and work it all out. Sometimes he just wants to have only fun and not spend time working. Then he needs a reminder talk of why school is important... I feel like I have to be understanding and at the same time, strict. I found that listening is the key. I have had the same problem at times as you have, with him not telling me what is going on and I feel like he's actually messing with me. That's a toughie.
Well, I bet it'll work out fine. It can be a lot of stress, though, can't it, until things are figured out? I worry too much anyway, though. Make sure you take care of yourself. Hope things are going well.