A little lost, a little confused, a little lack of knowledge

[hahninsik]

Being at a loss for words has never been an issue with me, but how to start this has found me at that point.

I am what any person with knowledge of the North American teenager would consider somewhat normal. I use the word "somewhat" loosely, because I am not by any stretch of the imagination social, nor do I crave the attentions of my peers or anyone else my age bracket, and am a content homebody. Or so I consciously think. I do not play sports, participate in any school groups, or have many friends outside of the small clique I "hang" with at school and no where else. I simply have no desire to do these things and I never have. I do, however, crave being outside of my home and as far away from it as possible.

But that information is probably irrelevant to the reason I am posting here.

For the past year or two I have undergone serious physical and mental changes, and I am not sure what to attribute them to.

These physical changes started with my hair falling out in copious amounts, nearly handfuls, an inability to gain weight (I needed to at the time, for when this all came about I was underweight already, but have since reached a healthier weight), serious depression, mild delirium, mood swings that are not triggered by "that time of the month" and the oddest sensation that my shoulder blades are being pulled off (though it's not painful, actually more of an intense tickling sensation that is very unpleasant and travels down my arms and gives the feeling of my shoulder blades being pulled off). Now, I'm not sure that the shoulder blades are 100% relevant but I've been told it could be.

Anyway. I have confronted my parents about these issues, to which they responded with classic parental answers; I needed more vitamins, I needed to get out and be social, my relationship is unhealthy, I'm too stressed and need to relax.

For one, as I have already mentioned, I do not like the company of anyone in my age bracket, and those older than me who’s company I do find pleasure in do not wish to make someone of my age a frequent companion. I also have had blood drawn and it showed my vitamin levels where perfectly healthy. My relationship has a rather large age gap and therefore any excuse for me to leave the man I am with is quickly snatched up. As far as stress goes, I do no obviously stressful activities, nor have any stressful relationships with the few people I do associate with.

Now, the point of my rambling on about myself.

These problems have gone on for almost exactly a year now, despite my efforts to curb them, and I am wondering what I should do to stop them, for they are extremely unsettling. I am told they are caused by stress, all of them, but I do not know how to stop stress I cannot identify.

[joung]

Being a teenager is tough enough without going through what you described. To me it sounds like your stressed and depressed all in one. Sometimes when we have something traumatic happen to us in are lives it can trigger a person to have anxiety or depression. To me stress is something we all go through in are daily lives but when it reaches a new level that can't be shut down then I think it's anxiety. possibly depression. If I were you I would see a psychologist and see what they say. I don't think your parent's understand what your going through because they can't relate.

[woong]

I suppose I should branch from my hesitance and mention that the delirium has been coupled with hallucinations. These hallucinations range from simple object distortion, to hypnologic or pre-sleep hallucinations of feeling as if I am sliding up the wall at my back, to hallucinations of a physical presence usually in the form of small, 5-8 year old children bearing rather gruesome looking injuries, as well as auditory hallucinations of movements, whispering and occasionally full-fledged voices, but in an effort to keep from hysterics I haven't concentrated on the messages the voices are delivering.

The voices. Good lord, I never thought I'd bring myself to admit I hear voices.

[moon]

What you described about the hallucinations sounds pretty bizarre. Have you had any drug use in your life? It sounds like a chemical imbalance of some kind. How long have you been going through this, and how old are you? Are you paranoid at all? You might research delusional schizophrenia, I probably didn't spell that right. The only thing is you sound like your relatively normal on the computer. People that have schizophrenia seem preoccupied and don't really relate to reality in my experiences anyway. If you can see psychologist I would. Anyways I hope I’ve been somewhat helpful.