My life feels screwed up

pope · Joined: 05 Dec 2006 Posts: 36

I was a bit anxious to break that '5 post barrier,' so now I'm ready.
I was diag with depression over two years ago. Even today, I still have no idea what really started it. I know of course that it was multiple events and stimuli, but still, something tells me it should've been one catalyst, and I just can't pin my finger on it.
I've lived with depression for two years now (I know, not very long compared with most people). It was about 6 months after my original diag that I experienced suicidal thoughts and emotions. Ever since then, I have made two attempts on my own life (pathetically, I might add, but, I still tried). My emotional-side has developed greatly in two years, and I still don't know everything that I feel.
I do know of some factors that is pushing my depression. The largest one is my church/religion, which I will go into a rant/discussion later (maybe in the religion forum, or would keeping it in this thread be better?). I am on medication, so I do understand that there are some biological/chemical factors at work. My family (with strong association to the religion-issue) is also a factor, practically a double-sided (helps and hurts at the same time).
I've been looking for ways to deal with depression, and so far, the number one thing I found successful is laughter. Seriously, ever since two years ago, I've drawn myself to comedy TV (namely, Whose Line is it Anyway [my favorite show of all time now], Seinfeld, and Everybody Loves Raymond). Wow, those can really pick me up out of a mood and make me bust a gut laughing.

Starting to get late, so I'll continue my discussion tomorrow, if anyone is at all interested. I do this just to get it off my chest.

robin · Joined: 05 Dec 2006 Posts: 26

I'm glad to hear you are willing to rant. It's a healthy thing and many of us are here to offer support and understanding!
The Religion thread would be a good one to check out. I know lots of us have issues in that area.
Hang in there, kiddo--I'll be looking for you around the forums! (And I'll check back on this one,too)

potor · Joined: 05 Dec 2006 Posts: 49

No need to feel anxious around here, but also understandable. Everyone here is supportive and will be able to relate to your thoughts and feelings in one way or another. So don’t feel awkward or anything.
Depression is one of those things which can be brought on by a multiple of events or only one event, there can be so many causes and its a big issue with many people, trying to understand why...and its often a question which is never answered.
Are you in therapy or seeing your doctor on a regular basis? It would be good to have someone mural to talk to.
As for religion, yes it would be best posted in the religion forum but it doesn’t mean you can’t discuss it here as well.

daley · Joined: 05 Dec 2006 Posts: 18

Thanks for sharing part of your story. Unfortunately sometimes churches/Christians/parents aren't as supportive and loving as they should be.
You have very similar tastes in comedy as me. My favorite comedy show is Seinfield and I love Who's Line Is It Anyway although they usually show it at 2am in the morning here
I'm not a huge Raymond fan but I do still enjoy watching it. There's a show in Australia called Thank God You Are Here which is similar to Who's Line which I think you would enjoy. You can get a Podcast from the ITunes if you want to check it out.
I can relocate your post to the Depression and Religion forum if you wish to share more about your struggles in relation to religion.