I’m terrified. (I found out I have serial killing traits)

[joung]

Ok, Well, I’m not sure if this is the right forum for this, but I’m very frightened, first of all let me introduce myself, I’m Taylor, I’m 15, and I’m above an average intellect
I have only been diagnosed with anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder, and a little bit of hypochondria (I’m sure I spelt that wrong.)
The traits are:
1. Over 90 percent of serial killers are male.
I’m male
2. They tend to be intelligent, with IQ's in the "bright normal" range.
3. They do poorly in school, have trouble holding down jobs, and often work as unskilled laborers.
I have potential, but I sometimes skipped school, or refused work.
4. They tend to come from markedly unstable families.

My dad is always in and out of he picture with drugs and or alcohol, and my mom is submissive.
5. As children, they are abandoned by their fathers and raised by domineering mothers.
Yes. 'Accept my mom was submissive.
6. Their families often have criminal, psychiatric and alcoholic histories.
Criminal no, psychiatric, yes, and alcoholic, only 2.
7. They hate their fathers and mothers.
I love both my parents dearly.
8. They are commonly abused as children - psychologically,
physically and sexually. Often the abuse is by a family member.
I haven't been abused remarkably physically, but my dad used to say pretty hurtful stuff, and he's overprotective of my little brother, on about 5 occasions, he hurt me if I picked on him, but not completely beat me, just bruised my arm or something.
9. Many serial killers spend time in institutions as children and have records of early psychiatric problems.
I've been put in the hospital for a day due to an anxiety attack; I have a fear of vomiting since and incident in 1st grade.
10. They have high rates of suicide attempts.
I really don't want to die; it's one of my fears.
11. From an early age, many are intensely interested in voyeurism, fetishism, and sado-masochistic pornography.
I’m not intensely interested in porn, but I’ve looked at it since 12
12. More than 60 percent of serial killers wet their beds beyond the age of 12.
nope.
13. Many serial killers are fascinated with fire starting.
I started fires until I was 13, but only with sheets of toilet paper, and only about 7 times, and it wasn't really that exciting.
14. They are involved with sadistic activity or tormenting small creatures.

I’m sad to say that I did this, it wasn't anything that could kill them, or harm them a lot, but it would make them upset, I only did this in front of friends, and sometimes I found they did it without me, so I thought it to be normal. the most common thing would be squirting them with water, never further then putting them under laundry baskets. I've vowed never to do it again. Though my friend kind of maltreats his animals, and it makes me feel bad. Looks back on doing it, it scares me, and I start to cry, I can't believe I would do that to defenseless cats, I didn't even care until after it was done, and I thought it funny, but not anymore....
So you can see why I’m scared, I’ve recently read this list by accident, and came to this horrid realization, that I could turn out to be a sickout, the kind of guys you think of when your scared.
I fear these people, I don't want to be one, I can't even imagine killing someone in self defense, and every time my brother has gotten on my nerves, I’ve never hurt him badly, I’ve always restrained myself from hurting others.
I just want to know if it's too late to change, or if I should give up all hope and admit myself into the ward right now, I’m so scared, tears are running down my checks as I write this...
I had dreams, dreams of becoming a professional animator or computer expert, and raising a family with a loving wife...I've changed my ways doing most of those activities before the age of 14, and I've already made a resolution to stop the rest, an even take medication, I just want to be normal, I just want to be one of those guys you see driving his leased Volkswagens to work, and come home to the woman I love....
I compared this to fate, and ominous feeling that your going to become something, like when someone has an incurable cancer, and they can't change that they'll die, I won't be able to change that I’ll be one of those knife-wielding maniacal scumbags that you see on court TV.
I know I’m full willing to put forth the effort to change all of this if it's possible, I don't want my life to take a turn like I fear it is going to.

[aeunjoo]

Um.....no.
lol....no you silly
A: those statistics are off. And some are plain wrong.
B: Serial murder isn’t impulsive, so you don’t have to worry about becoming that way. When it is impulsive its not serial murder.... its called rampaging.
C: Serial murder wasn’t defined by the FBI and they commonly fuck up their information. These same characteristics are held by lawyers, police officers, joe blow who ever.
It's broken into Visionaries, missionaries and hedonists. And broken down into that by organized and unorganized personality types.
The point is one or a combination of Lust, Power, Hate or thrill. Whether the individual knows it or not there is always a meaning behind the act, or the ritual. They always have an MO (modus operandi).
You have absolutely nothing to worry or concern yourself with.
1. Over 90 percent of serial killers are male.
I’m male
Actually 99. Something percent is male. There have only been a few cases of "Speculated" female serial killings. Alieen wournos robbed her male victims, as that was her point. There was no psychological reason. It was financial gain...But there were bodies so the media reported serial killings, while by FBI and standard criteria she is not.
Jeanne Weber in France in 1910 would be a case of a female serial killer.
2. They tend to be intelligent, with IQ's in the "bright normal" range
Anther popular myth. The average serial killer is more of a Henry lee Lucas intelligence. The Ted bundys and Edmund keepers are far from normal.
4. They tend to come from markedly unstable families
it's about 50/50


5. As children, they are abandoned by their fathers and raised by domineering mothers.
lol, Not at all.
7. They hate their fathers and mothers
Nope, there’s more then enough evidence to disprove that.
A large number of serial killers also happen to be psychopathic.....its different from sociopath but still apart of antisocial personality disorder. Now a psychopath would have no problem say skinning a dog while it was alive. Yet less then 1% of psychopaths are serial killers. And only 1% of people with antisocial personality disorders are psychopathic. I'm just commong to the point that you really, really are overracting.

[joung]

Thanks, you really helped ease my mind, I know I would never conciously make the choice to hurt someone, and I’ve yet to have a blackout attack, I guess the over-reacting was my small dose of hypochondria for the month, I've already started to make myself develop some empathy by putting myself in peoples places, and for some reason, it feels good not to be an antisocial jerk, who's only friends are the kind similar to yourself, I’m definitely going to fly right form this point on, no more being mean to any living thing.